


Alone in the Silence

by AsleepInTheJungle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 19:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13981671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsleepInTheJungle/pseuds/AsleepInTheJungle
Summary: The rain is coming down as a light drizzle. A small halo of frizz has formed around Kenma's hair and Kuroo refrains from reaching out to smooth it down, running his hand through his own hair instead. He pulls at his fringe in hesitation before shoving his hand back into his jacket."By the way, there's something I want to talk to you about."





	Alone in the Silence

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfiction. Can't believe how difficult it was! So much respect for people who write long fics. Hope you enjoy :)

Kenma is shivering. His hair blusters in the evening breeze as he wraps his arms tightly around his body. Training has just ended and a coat is conspicuously absent from his body. Kuroo glances over wearily. Kenma's chin is tucked in and his shoulders are hunched up to protect his neck, resulting in a look not too dissimilar from a wary turtle, intent on sheltering from the storm. Kuroo lifts his face to the first drops of rain fall.   
  
"I have an extra jacket in my locker you know."   
  
Kenma sticks his head out hopefully.   
  
"It's gonna cost you."   
  
Kenma's head sinks back down. A small mumble escapes his lips, "What do you want?"   
  
His expression is unchanging, his mouth fixed in a straight line. He knows what to expect with Kuroo and many years of friendship have taught him the rules of the game. Don't give away too much.   
  
"Extra training on Sunday. With me", requests Kuroo, the edge of his lips curling up into a playful smile. Kenma lets out a weak sigh and refrains from rolling his eyes - nothing too troubling then.   
  
"Do you know when to stop?"   
  
Kuroo is pleased with the response - it's not a no in any case. He's full out grinning now. He nudges Kenma in the side, "C'monnn, it'll be good for you."   
  
Kuroo has been a little more bouncy today, a little more touchy feely. He's giddy in a way that Kenma doesn't quite understand. He squeezes Kenma's arm now and takes the opportunity to secure his deal, "I'll go get it for you, no take backs!"   
  
The words rush out and off he sprints back to the changing room. Even after two hours of training, he still has the energy to run around. 

He returns with a slim fitting black jacket, clearly meant for nights out. Kenma has never seen it before and he spends some time deliberating over what Kuroo had in mind when he bought it. He imagines a dressed-up Kuroo taking a girl out on a date to the local Italian restaurant.   
  
"Do you like it? Does it make me look... sexy???", Kuroo asks, lifting his eyebrows suggestively.   
  
"It's a bit too cool for you."   
  
Kuroo's mouth falls open in mock outrage - that summer camp of amateur dramatics clearly not going to waste. Kenma, wasting no time on theatrics, immediately goes to take the coat out of his hands. Unfortunately Kuroo fast reflexes allow him to cling on: he lifts it up into the air, over his head.   
  
"Maybe someone doesn't deserve to wear my precious jacket. "   
  
Kenma is feeling slightly devious today, and deploys a tactic reserved especially for Kuroo. He sticks out his lower lip and widens his slightly eyes, pulling off his most persuasive pout, but this only seems to fuel Kuroo's enjoyment. Giving up any pretense of decorum, Kenma starts jumping up and down, placing his hands against Kuroo's body to lift himself higher.   
  
Kuroo laughs, "Wow, so much energy. I guess we didn't work you hard enough today"   
  
Kenma stops at that, knowing the consequences of such an admission. Instead he gives the most evil glare he can muster, which is only somewhat undermined by the slight twitching of his lips. Kuroo erupts in laughter, seemingly uncontrollably, and bends over slightly to hold his belly. Kenma sees his opening and takes a final leap to get his hands on the coat. Both of them hold on as Kenma brings it back down to his height, Kuroo still giggling.   
  
"Waiittt a second"   
  
Kuroo unzips the jacket and wraps it around Kenma, maneuvering his arms so that they slide into the sleeves.   
  
"Are you my mum?", Kenma deadpans, his mask of calm returning. Kuroo's grin fills his whole face, he's having way too much fun.   
  
"Well I guess you should remember your coat next time little kitten."   
  
Kenma rolls his eyes at Kuroo, despite his willingness in being the object of Kuroo's doting. The coat is three sizes too big, it falls halfway down Kenma's thighs and his arms are lost in the sleeves. But it's warm and comfy and smells like home. Kenma flaps his arms around to show the off extra sleeve length, making him look like a penguin in the process. A very serious penguin. Coat in place, they begin walking home. 

They chat for a while about volleyball, analyzing their strengths and weaknesses as a team. Kuroo is more excited than normal, his voice is louder and his gestures more exaggerated. He acts out each impressive play from their training, springing into the air and smashing his hand down as he talks about his spike, the spike Kenma had already witnessed having been the one to set the ball. But Kenma is not immune to the energy that radiates from Kuroo. He finds himself giggling as Kuroo retells the tale of Lev celebrating his spike, only for the ball to be hit back in his face moments later. Kuroo mimics Lev's expression, jubilation turning to horror. 

Kenma can't resist the smile on his face. A cozy, warm feeling fills his entire body, emanating from his core and spreading out to the furtherest corners of his being. A warmth which has nothing to do with the coat. The evening buzz soothes his tired soul and he can't help but think that this moment is perfection. _Huh, but nothing in the real world can be perfect_. 

The conversation lulls for a moment, both boys lost in thought. The rain is coming down as a light drizzle. A small halo of frizz has formed around Kenma's hair and Kuroo refrains from reaching out to smooth it down, running his hand through his own hair instead. He pulls at his fringe in hesitation before shoving his hand back into his jacket.   
  
"By the way, there's something I want to talk to you about."   
  
Kuroo scrunches at his pocket, filling the quiet with the noises of rustling material.   
  
"Hmm?", Kenma's eyes were on the ground but they raise at the shift in tone. Kuroo bites his lip, a small trace of nervousness breaking through his composure. His breathing is deep and slow, as though it's being purposely controlled. He counts out the seconds as he steadily exhales.   
  
"I like guys."   
  
"Oh." Kenma turns fractionally towards Kuroo, observing him from the corner of his eye. His face is like a smooth stone, no rough edge, no crease of emotion. Kenma's raises his eyebrows slightly, curiosity getting the better of him, "I thought you used to like that girl in your maths class."   
  
"Hah", a huff escapes Kuroo's chest, somewhere between an exhale and a laugh, "Yeah, used to. I think I like guys and girls."   
  
Kuroo shrugs, not lifting his eyes. He appears to have shrunk slightly, his body seemingly squashing in on itself. To a passerby, it would appear as though he was protecting himself from the wind.   
  
"Oh, that's cool."   
  
Kenma tries to catch Kuroo's eye. He's wearing a small smile, an "it's ok" smile, an "I don't care about those things" smile. Kuroo doesn't look at Kenma. Instead he sucks in another breath, teetering on the edge of something. The colour in his cheeks intensifies and his mouth goes slack.   
  
"Yeah, and ummm.."   
  
They've reached Kenma's house now, the rusty gate swung forward, opening on to his front lawn. They can hear the radio playing in the kitchen. Kenma stands alongside Kuroo, waiting patiently for him to finish what he's saying.   
  
"I uhh.."   
  
Finally Kuroo's eyes land on Kenma. He looks down upon his best friend, and realises in the last moment that this was the worst course of action. What little hope had existed vaporises instantly. Kenma is smiling up at him, eyes fluttered open, politely curious, blissfully ignorant.   
  
"yeah urrr.. see you tomorrow"   
  
The words tumble out his mouth and he's already striding away, his tall stature a silhouette against the setting sun. Kenma watches him leave, confusion drawn in the furrow of his brow.   
  
"Yeah, see you tomorrow" 

* * *

Kenma doesn't see much of Kuroo the next day. They pass each other in the corridors once; Kuroo waves, a half smile on his lips, before quickly stopping and turning back to his friend. Lunch is also spent apart, Kuroo with his classmates, Kenma with his video games. It's not so unusual. Kenma likes to be on his own and, although Kuroo often checks in on him, Kenma knows he gets caught up in his own business. Except today Kenma feels a bit lost, slightly disorientated. He wants to spend time with Kuroo but he feels like he can't. Something about Kuroo's smile being not fully natural, or how he can't maintain eye contact for more than a split second, as if he burns from its heat. 

Kenma feels a rare anticipation for that evening's training. He rushes out of class and walks to the gym, an unusual intensity in his step. From a distance he can see Kuroo standing by the entrance way, spinning a volleyball on his fingertips. A lazy smile stretches across his face as Yaku says something. They both laugh, Yaku gently shoves Kuroo to try and knock the ball from his hands. It falls to the ground, rolling across the playground towards Kenma. Kuroo looks up and sees him there. There is a moment of still before:   
  
"Yo Kenma, hurry up!" he calls, his smile fixed in place, bizarrely static, as though he was molded from concrete. Yaku rolls his eyes and walks into the gym. 

Luckily training is exhausting. All focus revolves around the ball and the court and his teammates, no time for melodrama. When he sets the ball, Kuroo is there to slam it down, and for the moment, that's all that matters. The ache in his body replaces the anxiety in his mind. There is a cheerful vibe around the team after a successful workout. 

Yaku and Kai enter the changing room first, their faces unusually close as Kai mutters something in Yaku's ear. Lev runs up from behind, peering over the top of them.   
  
"Huh, who likes who? What are you guys talking about?"   
  
Yaku rolls his eyes, sauntering off to his locker.   
  
"Don't eavesdrop Lev. It's rude."   
  
"Please tell me", Lev whines, "I'll tell you who I like."   
  
Kuroo is a few paces behind, rubbing a towel across his sweating face. "No one cares Lev" he says blandly as he drops the towel to pull off his t-shirt.   
  
"I like the idol from AKB48. The one that’s really small", Lev tells the room at large. "She's so cute."   
  
"There's hundreds of girls in AKB48. Which one are you talking about?", Kai asks politely.   
  
Lev thinks for a moment. "You know, the smallest one! She’s my first crush." Lev says, nodding his head pensively, as though he has made a massive revelation. Kai doesn't have enough interest to answer and no one else is paying the slightest bit of attention. Currently Kenma appears at the door, his body drooping slightly with fatigue.   
  
"Kennnmmma", Lev calls out, "Who was your first crush?"   
  
Kenma's face squashes up in contemplation. His eyes search the ceiling as though he might find the answer there.   
  
"Hmmm" 

The changing room is quiet, only the rustle of gym clothes and the hushing of not-so-subtle teenage boys trying to listen in. Yaku fiddles with his t-shirt, Kuroo contemplates his locker key. Lev sits on the edge of the bench, leaning forward in eager anticipation.   
  
"I've never had a crush before" Kenma mumbles, still regarding the ceiling.   
  
"Whaaattttttt???!!!"   
  
Lev bounces to his feet, his mouth comically wide.   
  
"How is that possible?!"   
  
Kuroo's attention has switched from his key to his locker and a frown has settled on his face. Keeping his body very still, he slowly reaches out his hand to push the key into the lock. His hand wobbles slightly and the key scrapes against the lock, scratching at the paint. Lev turns to Kuroo.   
  
"Kuroo, did you know about this?"   
  
Kuroo frowns some more, his attention still painfully focused on the key. After a second, he looks up at Lev. His eyes slide across the room towards Kenma. Kenma hasn't yet moved from the entrance, his face is open, honest, blank. Kuroo looks down at his feet, a slight blush on his face. All eyes are on him as he shakes his head and grabs his stuff.   
  
"I can't be dealing with this shit", he mutters deeply, his eyes firmly trained to the ground as he makes for the exit.   
  
"Did he even manage to open his locker?", Yaku whispers as the door closes shut.   
  
Kai smiles sadly, "He's a lost cause". 

The changing room is quiet once more after Kuroo's sudden departure. Everyone finishes up changing and they head outside together. Kenma looks around confused.   
  
"Kuroo didn't wait for me."   
  
Yaku looks on concerned. He teeters, on the edge of approaching Kenma, before turning to Kai. "Should we say something", Yaku whispers.   
  
"Nah, this is something they need to work out for themselves." 

* * *

Kenma doesn't expect to see much of Kuroo the next day. A small lump seems to have entered Kenma's stomach and whenever he thinks about Kuroo, it twists uncomfortably. Luckily it appears as though his attention will be entirely taken up by Lev. It is lunchtime and the hunter has come for his prey, weapon in hand. Lev drags Kenma over to a solitary bench and pushes him to sit. The grin stretched across Lev's face displays all his white shiny teeth. 

"There's no need to be afraid Kenma", he says, his hand wrapped tightly around Kenma's wrist to prevent flight risk. The roll of paper in Lev's hand gets shoved into Kenma's lap. Kenma picks it up tentatively and smooths out the magazine.   
  
"What's this?" Kenma asks, his eyes darting from the magazine to Lev's face.   
  
"It's a magazine of Japanese idols."   
  
"I know what it is, why are you showing it to me?" Kenma's incredulity rising. Lev smiles patiently, a guru bestowing wisdom to his first initiate.   
  
"I'm just going to show you some photos, there's no need to be worried."   
  
Kenma _is_ worried, but he can see the glee in Lev's eye and realizes that there is no escape. He could cross oceans, change his name, hide away in the most remote village in Africa, and Lev would come find him, leaping across the plains with boundless energy. He settles down for what will be a long lunch break. 

They have been at it for a while, flitting through the pages of Lev's holy scriptures, before Kuroo spots them. He had been walking towards his classroom, wanting to ask his teacher for help with a problem in their homework. He had intended to pass by unnoticed, his foot lifted to carry him on his way when he overhears their conversation.   
  
"How about this girl, she's cute right?"   
  
"She's ok I guess."   
  
"How about this one?"   
  
"She looks the same."   
  
The two boys are hunched up together, sitting on a bench which is slightly hidden behind an old oak tree. Their faces are turned down, focused on the object of their attention: a slightly crumpled magazine spread across their laps. 

Kuroo sighs weakly. The pace of his heart beat has picked up substantially and a nervous energy has flooded his body, but he is no coward - or at least not a massive coward.. Well, maybe a massive coward, regardless, he knows what he needs to do. The first step towards them is the hardest, his legs feels stiff, awkward. His brain begins to process the mechanism for walking: left leg forward, swing right arm, look ahead, check the ground, breath in, breath out. Fuck, this is complicated. Frustration overpowers anxiety, channeling through his veins and into his limbs. It eases the process and he regains composure as he crosses the path towards the boys. 

"Oi!", Kuroo calls out a little too harshly, his eyes intently settled on Lev. The two boys jump in shock, lifting their heads to the intruder. Kenma stills, moving only his eyes to keep track of Kuroo. His insides squirm with apprehension, he feels weird and he doesn't know why.   
  
"Lev, cut it out. Leave Kenma alone."   
  
Lev's face is a wash of confusion.   
  
"We're not doing anything", Lev says innocently.   
  
"Stop making Kenma look at girls", Kuroo spurts out awkwardly, hesitating on the word girl and flushing slightly. He arms are folded and his stance closed off. Kenma puzzles over the request, not sure what to make of it. 

Lev is still trying to process the words as he glances past Kuroo into the oak tree.   
  
"Oh look, a kitten."   
  
They all turn in the direction of Lev's outstretched finger.   
  
"Can you pay attention for just one second?", Kuroo sighs, exasperated.   
  
"I think the kitten is stuck", Lev continues, a look of concern on his face.   
  
"What? No, it's not stuck."   
  
They begin to argue, Kuroo funneling his internal frustration into this inane battle, the awkward air still stuck to him.   
  
"It is stuck! Look, it's afraid!" Lev whines.   
  
"It's a cat. Cats can jump from that height"   
  
"How do you know?"   
  
"Because I love cats", sincerity brimming from every syllable, "I know everything about cats."   
  
Lev and Kenma look up at Kuroo, contemplating this change in track. Even Lev notices Kuroo is acting strange.   
  
"Awww, I didn't know our captain was such a softy", says Lev, light up with joy.   
  
"I knew", Kenma nods, smiling softly.   
  
Kuroo sighs into his hand, irritation mixing with a familiar flutter in his belly. Resigned to the worst, he mutters, "Ok fine, lets go get the cat".   
  
"Yayyyy!!", Lev jumps up from his seat and walks over to the tree. Kuroo assesses the height of the branch and contemplates the risk of falling from such a height.   
  
"Give me a leg up and I'll see if I can reach it." 

Lev stands beneath the cat and places his hands together. Kuroo lifts one foot into Lev's hands, steadies himself against Lev and pushes up, hoisting his body off the ground and reaching for the branch above.   
  
"Oh crap, you're so heavy!"   
  
"Lev, hold me properly. C'mon, show me your arm power!"   
  
Lev grunts and forces Kuroo up a little higher so he can get a better hold of the tree. The cat is purring gently, settled a little to the left of Kuroo.   
  
"Here kitty kitty, here kitty kitty."   
  
From his angle under the branch, he can't quite see where the cat is. His arms travel along the tree hesitantly, trying to find the cat while not wanting to scare it at the same time. The cat regards Kuroo's hands coolly, before taking an easy leap off the tree.   
  
"Ahh the cattt!!" Lev yells, losing grip of Kuroo as he reaches out to catch the cat. Kuroo tumbles down and lands in a pile on top of Lev, gangly limbs sticking out everywhere.   
  
"What the fuck was that?!" 

Kenma heads over to help them disentangle, reaching out to pull Kuroo off the ground. Kuroo is red in the face, from what Kenma can only assume is anger, and ignores Kenma's hand as he rights himself, brushing the dirt from his clothes in the process. He glares at Lev for a moment, before stalking off to his classroom, too irritated to even yell. Kenma watches his back as he walks away. 

When Kenma turns around, Lev has also disappeared. _Probably chasing the cat_ , Kenma thinks to himself. He's all alone again, which has been happening more frequently these past couple of days. He loves being by himself, except right now he's anxious. He used to only get anxious when he was around other people, but the feeling has bled over into his alone time, infecting his entire life. He is discovering that being anxious and lonely is a whole lot worse than being anxious in company. 

Lost in his thoughts, he starts to drift towards the school building. Other students have started walking to class, and the stream of people pulls him into the main corridor. He feels himself getting sucked in the wrong direction and tries to clamber round so he can head off towards his classroom. But the current is too strong, or else he is too weak, and there is nothing he can do but swim along, keeping his head above the water. There are too many people, and the weight of their bodies crush him against the wall. His mind goes blank as he struggles to breath.   
  
_I wish Kuroo was here._   
  
He's had this thought before, but this time it strikes him with a particular intensity. It shakes him from his trance. Before he let Kuroo take care of everything, but he can't always lean on him like that. He hears Kuroo's deep voice in his mind. _Breathe slowly. Don't think about anything else._ Like a lighthouse on a cliff, the words guide him through the storm. He keeps walking and walking until the stream starts to taper off. After a minute he is able to turn down a side corridor and walks to class, his breathing steady. 

* * *

Kenma's mind is clearer as he walks into the gym that evening. He's the first one there and, wanting to keep busy, he starts getting out the net and balls. Many thoughts drift through his mind as he pulls out the net. He's thinking about what he needs and what he wants, and how, if he isn't brave enough to ask for it, he might just end up with nothing. He doesn't notice as a couple of other boys wander in. 

"Yo, what are you doing in here?! It's our time to use the gym."   
  
Kenma startles, "Sorry?"   
  
"Dude, you have to leave. We've got training now."   
  
Kenma looks around confused, his body shrinking in on itself.   
  
"But we've got training now", he mutters to the ground. His mind flicks through his schedule, they always have training after school. He checks his phone: no new messages. He searches through his memory, hunting for any suggestion that training was canceled. He checks his phone again: it's 4:30. He scrapes at his memories, peeling the layers away in his mind. He looks through them again and again, trying to figure out what's going on. He checks his phone again: no new messages. He glares at the screen, betrayed by its withholding of secrets in his time of need. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?"   
  
The group of boys look up across the gym.   
  
"Yo, Kuroo, we booked the gym so it's our training time."   
  
Kuroo's eyes flit across Kenma's hunched over form. His brow creases slightly.   
  
"Huh, I never heard anything about that."   
  
"Yeah, we told coach. We need extra training because we're going to nationals."   
  
"Yeah? Well, we're going to nationals too."   
  
The two boys regard each other carefully, stuck at an impasse. Intimidation is second nature to Kuroo. He is back to being his confident, cocky self, and his stance says as much. Yaku arrives to the scene and takes it in with confusion.   
  
"What are the basketball team doing here?"   
  
"Apparently they're trying to steal our gym", Kuroo says, forever the antagonist.   
  
"Not steal. We booked it!" 

Kuroo thinks for a moment before lighting up with an idea. He places his hands on his hips and a smile unfurls across his face.   
  
"How about we make a bet? We can do those free throw things you have in basketball. If you can get in 3 balls in the net before we do, then you get to have the gym."   
  
The team captain laughs loudly, his expression smug "Hah, fine by me. We'll whoop your arse."   
  
Yaku pulls Kuroo over in concern, "You know they're the basketball team right? Bas - ket - ball. They practice shooting all the time."   
  
Kuroo beams with confidence. "Don't worry", he whispers, "Just throw the ball underarm. It's easier than it looks."   
  
"I thought you weren't allowed to throw underarm?" Yaku ponders.   
  
Kuroo snorts, clearly enjoying the situation.   
  
"Oh no, you're allowed. It's just basketball players are a bit sensitive about looking like little girls" 

Kenma takes a seat at the back of the gym, away from the action. He's not really paying much attention as Lev and Yamamoto line up behind Kuroo, Yaku and Kai. The opposition's captain rolls his eyes at Kuroo as he suggests they won't be needing Lev and Yamamoto. The volleyball team are all playing around with the basketballs, throwing them up and down to get used to the extra weight. Yaku scolds Lev for hitting the ball too recklessly. The basketball team laugh at their clowning around, cocky in their assurance of victory. Any sane person would have their money on the basketball team. But Kenma can see the shine in Kuroo's eyes, he's seen that look before and knows it should not be underestimated. 

He sits back and watches Kuroo, losing focus of the game as his eyes trail him around the court. He chuckles at Kuroo's banters with the opposition team. Kuroo throws the ball up in the air and Kenma doesn't even have to look at the ball to know it went in the hoop. He giggles inside himself as Kuroo performs his victory dance. Happiness fills him up like warm honey, all sweet and gooey. He can't seem to look away from Kuroo. There's something mesmerizing about the way he grins and cheers, or how he so cockily sticks his hand on his hip and surveys the court, like he owns the place. 

On the last throw, the group scream in victory. A louder sound could not be made had they just won nationals. Celebration ensues: Kai and Yamamoto high five, Inuoka jumps up and down and Yaku smiles. Kuroo wraps the team up in a hug, patting Kai on the back and lifting a half amused, half furious Yaku into the air. Only Lev seems a little disappointed, having not had the chance to throw. When the team return to sanity, Kuroo looks over and catches Kenma staring. He winks playfully. Both of them turn away before they can notice the slight blush on the other's cheeks, each painfully aware of their own. 

* * *

By the end of Friday training, Kenma resolute. The last time Kuroo walked home with Kenma was on Monday and every day Kenma has become more aware of Kuroo's absence. The time has come to act.   
  
Lev stands at the door of the changing room, filling the entrance way with his gigantic figure. He sways his head back and forth, brushing his hair against the ceiling. Kenma is vaguely reminded of a cat, stretching up to rub itself against the furniture.   
  
"Look guys, don't you wish you were as tall as me, my head touches the top of the door way."   
  
Yaku turns around, "Lev, what are you doing?"   
  
Kuroo looks up, "Lev, what the fuck are you doing?"   
  
The mood is light and jovial this afternoon. Even Kenma can notice that his teammates are feeling more energetic than usual, more upbeat. 

"By the way, is anyone going to that party tonight?" Inuoka calls to the group.   
  
"Huh, I thought we all were?"   
  
"I'm going", Yaku and Kuroo chime in.   
  
The group begin to chatter in anticipation of the night's events, a pleasant hum filling the air. Inuoka walks over to Kenma, "What about you Kenma? Do you feel up for joining?"   
  
Kenma's eye are on Kuroo's back, who is currently discussing the rules of a drinking game with Kai. "Ok", he whispers, his mind strangely blank.   
  
"What?! Really?!", surprise reverberates out of Inuoka.   
  
Yamamoto, ever discrete, punches the air in celebration.   
  
"YESSS! Finally Kenma"   
  
He turns to the room at large, "We should get him drunk!"   
  
The announcement meets with loud approval, Kenma is shocked into silence. He gets cut out from deliberations regarding the precise level of his upcoming inebriation and is left feeling slightly betrayed by his own subconscious. Kuroo is also yet to comment, instead deciding that this is the appropriate moment to carefully sort through the contents of his messy locker.   
  
Yaku huffs at the various suggestions disapprovingly, "Ignore them Kenma, I'll take care of you." 

Nerves niggle in Kenma's belly and under his skin. Maybe this is a mistake. He feels trapped, but backing out now would bring more attention and may not even be possible. He's not sure Yamamoto would be able to hear him say "no", let alone comprehend it, not over his fierce yells of excitement. Kenma sits on the bench to wait, his hands going to his game console for reassurance. Its solid weight feels comforting in his palm and, for a moment, he can escape. 

The team walk together to the party which is being held round at Yuri's house. Kenma remembers hearing the name a couple of times before but can't quite picture her face. He later learns from Kai that she's on the women's volleyball team. As he enters her front lawn, he sees the hostess jubilantly welcoming guests. He shrinks back, hoping to go unnoticed, but she is bubbly in her greeting and eagerly ushers the new arrivals into her living room. There are several groups scattered about the large room and Kenma feels daunted by the lack of hidden corners. There is an buzz in the air, a feeling that tonight, anything could happen. 

The group quickly disbands upon entering the house. Most of them head off to chat to a group of girls by the fireplace while Kuroo makes his way towards the kitchen, his arms dangling round the shoulders of the hostess. Only Yaku and Lev remain.   
  
"Don't worry Kenma, we'll stick with you", Lev says, nudging Kenma in the side.   
  
Yaku smiles fondly. They form a guard in front of Kenma and walk across the room to a spot on floor by the window. They grab some cushions to make themselves comfortable as they settle in. Lev spots a crate of beer and eyes it hopefully. He tries to catch Yaku's eye and makes a half bow, looking up at Yaku with his best puppy eyes. Yaku shakes his head, trying to suppress his grin.   
  
"Lev, I'm not your mum. You can have beer if you want."   
  
"Yayy! Thank you Yaku", Lev jumps up to grab some cans.   
  
"Get me one while you're at it", Yaku calls out.   
  
"Yes senpai! Do you want one Kenma?"   
  
He shrugs a little which Lev takes to mean yes. Kenma's had beer before, he's familiar with the bitter taste and the bubbling on his tongue. The beer warms him to his core as he sits comfortably on the floor. He watches as Yaku and Lev play fight, enjoying themselves more than they would ever dare to admit. They bicker and tease about all sorts of topics, and yet always end up going back to just how bad Lev is at volleyball. Maybe if all parties were like this, I should go out more often, Kenma thinks to himself. 

A short while later, the rest of the team join them on the floor, all except Kuroo, who has disappeared off into another room.   
  
"We should play truth or dare" announces Inuoka, flushed red by alcohol.   
  
"We should get everyone to play", Yamamoto declares, similarly inebriated.   
  
"Ooo I want to play!" Lev yells out.   
  
"That means you get to go first", Yamamoto decides, pointing his finger in Lev’s face. Lev ponders this for a while before deciding that it sounds reasonable enough.   
  
"Ok then, I pick dare!"   
  
As everyone hums in thought, a couple of girls join their circle.   
  
"What are we playing?", one of them asks.   
  
"Truth or dare. We're trying to think of a dare for Lev."   
  
"Oh that's fun! I dare Lev to kiss Yaku."   
  
The two girls erupt in giggles, as though nothing on this planet could be funnier. Lev looks at Yaku blankly, his eyes slightly widened. Yaku is furiously looking everywhere but Lev.   
  
"That's not fair! I'm not even playing.", Yaku complains.   
  
"Oh c'mon Yaku, don't be a spoil sport", the louder girl chirps.   
  
Yaku shakes his head in resignation as Kai sighs something about the power of pretty girls. Yaku settles himself on his knees and closes his eyes.   
  
"Ok you can kiss me now." 

He purses his lips shut in preparation. He will be kissed, but he will certainly not be kissing back. Lev bends down to meet Yaku's height and nervously edges forward, his expression set in serious mode. He hesitates a little before leaning forward, taking in the view of Yaku so close. He closes his eyes and presses a single light kiss against Yaku's mouth, chaffed lips meeting for the shortest of time. The group burst into laughter while Kenma wonders what the big deal is. Both boys rush to the kitchen to wash their mouths out with water.   
  
"Oh but wait, won't Kuroo be jealous?" a girl asks, still giggling.   
  
"What are you talking about?" Yamamoto asks, regaining composure after wheezing for the past few minutes.   
  
Another girl steps up, "No, Kuroo doesn't like Yaku, he likes the other short one."   
  
Kai takes this moment to clear his throat very loudly, but not before Kenma's had a chance to put two and two together. 

Kuroo is standing by the stairs next to the girl whose house it is, his arm is on her shoulder. He pulls her in for a hug, all the while chatting contentedly. Kenma's insides feel like jelly. The sight is having strange effects on him which he doesn't quite understand. He thought he was above jealousy but the twisting of his stomach tells him otherwise. The door bell rings and Yuri pulls away, abandoning Kuroo's side to welcome new guests. Kenma is on his feet and makes a beeline straight for Kuroo, his limbs acting on their own accord.   
  
"Hey"   
  
"Hey"   
  
Now that he's standing there, he feels stupid. What was his reason for getting up again? Kuroo's ease from moments ago has evaporated, leaving behind two awkward boys standing towards each other in some bizarre face off.   
  
"Why have you been avoiding me?"   
  
Kenma hadn't meant to start with that. He still isn't really sure that Kuroo has been avoiding him, but tonight, his brain has vacated his body and spirits have taken up resident. Impulsive spirits which eat away at his insides and compel him to act. His skin tingles with them.   
  
"Look, can we just talk about this some other time", Kuroo mumbles, backing off into the kitchen. 

Kenma reaches out and grabs hold of Kuroo's t-shirt, his finger brushing against Kuroo's lower abdomen. A hitch in breath is followed by a furious blush; Kuroo becomes jelly in Kenma's hands. They stare at each other, Kenma sparking with curiosity, Kuroo burning with shame. Kenma is flooded with adrenaline: he's not used to the Kuroo in his hand. This Kuroo is vulnerable and nervous. Kenma jolts at the thought: this Kuroo is scared of him. Some ancient predatory instinct breaks lose in his psyche and he steps forward, his stance dominating. 

"Follow me.", he demands, voice barely above a whisper.   
  
He pulls Kuroo along into a dark side room, not letting go of his shirt to prevent any alternative. But he needn’t have worried, Kuroo's brain has just short circuited and in any case, he had always been at Kenma's mercy.   
  
"Sit"   
  
Kuroo's legs fold instantly and he falls back into an armchair which luckily is immediately behind him. Kenma stands above him, smiling lightly, mischievously even, courage fueled by alcohol. Kenma sets a hand down on either armrest and leans forward into Kuroo's space. They hold each others gaze, Kuroo's eyes are wide and his lips slightly open. Saliva pools in his mouth. Kenma hesitates for a second, not knowing how to proceed, the first twitch of doubt since entering the room. 

That moment is all Kuroo needs. He grabs hold of Kenma's top and pulls him down, claiming his lips in a kiss. He's gentle at first, hesitant. He's not sure if Kenma will pull away, terrified of seeing a look of horror in his eyes. But Kenma presses forward, bringing his body closer as he sits into the armchair, his legs straddling Kuroo. Kuroo places his hands on Kenma's waist and pulls him in, lusting for more contact. His hands travel to Kenma's arse, grateful that Kenma's still wearing his loose school trousers, made from such thin material. He cups both cheeks and squeezes lightly, smiling as Kenma squawks in surprise. 

Kenma flounders momentarily before giving in to the force of Kuroo's movements. He wraps his arms around Kuroo's neck and into his hair. He twists at the strands and holds Kuroo's head in place, slowing their kiss to a pace he's more comfortable with. Kuroo licks at his lips and teases open Kenma's mouth, slipping in his tongue when he finally gains entrance. Kenma tastes liqueur on Kuroo's mouth and when their tongues meet, he feels the shiver travel all the way to his crotch. He sighs against Kuroo, and as he sits down further into his body, Kuroo gasps for breath. 

Suddenly aware of the situation, they break a part for a second, both red in the face, both breathing heavily. They glance at each other, if only for a second, all cutes smiles and awkward fidgeting. Kuroo tries to think of something to say while Kenma draws circles on his arms, drastically reducing Kuroo's mental capacity.   
  
"What are you guys doing in here?", Lev calls out, announcing his entrance by turning on the light. Kenma jumps out the seat just in time and Kuroo draws his legs up to his chest, wrapping an arm around his knees protectively. Lev regards them with suspicion.   
  
"You know, everyone is still playing outside."   
  
Kenma walks straight out the room to join the party, not really sure what just happened and what he's even doing. He only looks back on discovering Kuroo hasn't moved.   
  
"Aren't you going to join us?", Lev asks innocently.   
  
"I'll be there in a second", Kuroo states, glaring at Lev's back as he leaves the room. 

When Kuroo finally rejoins the party, Yaku and Kai greet him enthusiastically, knowing smiles filling their faces.   
  
"Where have you been hiding Kuroo?"   
  
"Yeah, what took you so long?"   
  
Kuroo tries his best to pull off an evil stare and fails miserably, the happiness too evident on his face.   
  
"Not going to tell us, huh? Cat got your tongue?"   
  
They both snigger as Kuroo shakes his head. For the rest of the evening, Kuroo's eyes barely leave Kenma. He takes in the view greedily, allowing himself all that he had denied himself the past week. He cannot hide the hunger in his gaze. For Kenma's part, he keeps his eyes mostly on the ground or on other people, not brave enough to look back into the flames. And yet somehow he is still aware of every movement Kuroo makes: every stroke of his chin, every brush of his hair, every scratch on his arm. 

When the night draws to a close, a friend of Kuroo offers to drive them back home. They sit next to each other in the car, thighs squashed against each other, heat radiating from their bodies. They stare off in opposite directions. Once it's time to get out, Kuroo walks Kenma do his door. They stand by the entrance, not knowing how to say good night. Kuroo lowers his head so that his mouth is right by Kenma's ear, his hot breath tickling Kenma's skin.   
  
"I hope you had fun tonight", Kuroo whispers into the silent night.   
  
Kenma nods once.   
  
"Want to do it again tomorrow?"   
  
Kenma nods again. Happiness swells in his gut as he watches Kuroo walk out into the night. 


End file.
